Hey, parents of college students–how’s it going?

Honestly, I hope it’s going great for you! I hope your kid is thriving, loving campus life, and exploring all the opportunities college can provide.

But if it’s not going well, if you’re struggling, and your kid is struggling, and neither one of you is having the college experience you expected, then I’m here for you. 

And I hope you’re out there somewhere, to be here for me, too.

Just so you know, my kid is AMAZING! (She said without prejudice or bias.)

And he is struggling. 

I wish it was just homesickness and adjustment. But while those are definitely contributing factors, this is more than just normal college adjustment. 

And I don’t know what to do to help him.

Maybe you can relate? Maybe your kid thinks they picked the wrong school? Maybe they’re overwhelmed by the expectations of living on campus, or of commuting, or thinking they picked the wrong field of study, or of any number of things…

My kid is unhappy to a degree that I’m unsure if he should stay at school. And if you’re dealing with the same situation, you know the confusion and fear. Do I tell him to come home? Try harder? Take different classes? Socialize more? Sleep more? 

I’m reminded of the Hippocratic Oath, and the statement, First Do No Harm.

How much is too much encouragement? How do I learn to let this man-child make his own decisions and his own mistakes, when I have the real-world parent concerns of mental health, anxiety triggers and of making everything worse instead of better?

And I’m so sorry but I don’t have the answers. 

I just want other college parents to know that it’s not all sweatshirts and sun-kissed smiles on Parent Weekend. Sometimes it’s sobbing phone calls and late night texts and the unsettling knowledge that you can’t always make it better, but you have to try and make it bearable. 

My kid might have to come home. 

And if he does, it will be ok.