Day 1

Started on a Friday. I was hoping for the sun to shine brighter, the mood to lift and work to not suck, but unfortunately it was just a regular day. Lots of hot flashes and people annoying me. 

Day 2

Saturday for the second dose. Last night I slept no better. Woke up at least 3 times with night sweats which is where I’m really hoping to see improvement. I woke up at 5am because I have a 3 hour drive to see my kid in a sporting event with his college team. I’m excited to see him, but annoyed by planning and my husband. This is the kind of thing that I’m hoping the hormones will eventually help. I can’t tell if I hate everything and everyone for real, or if it’s the hormones, or a combination of both. I don’t look forward to anything and things that used to be fun are now just a slog. 

The day was fine and there was one 30 second period when I was driving in the morning that I felt briefly hopeful and maybe even optimistic. It was a flash but maybe it was because of the medicine?

Day 3 

Terrible sleep, terrible dreams and terrible attitude today. Just bleak and ruining my day and my husband’s day. I really can’t tell if I need to change my whole life or just get on meds or something. I’ve always been moody and depressed so it’s actually hard to tell if the problem is me or menopause. I’m scared it’s me.

I’m thinking about taking the pill at night instead of in the morning so maybe it will help with the sleep a little more. I don’t know if that’s a thing, but that’s what I’m thinking about. Now I just don’t know if I should take it tonight or if I should skip the morning and take it tomorrow.

Day 4 

Hoping to feel something soon. I kept taking the pill in the morning since that’s how it is now and I’m not good at progressively moving the schedule and I”m afraid to be half doubling a dose. Praying for better sleep and a better attitude. 

Day 5 

No change. Maybe the hot flashes are a little better during the day? I can’t really tell. What I can tell is I still wake up slimy with sweat at least 3 times a night. So definitely not helping with that. I have been cutting back on the wine at night because I know that doesn’t help the hot flashes. But, what is there left to enjoy anymore? I think that’s the most insidious thing about this whole menopause journey–the feeling that there’s nothing left. Nothing to enjoy and nothing to look forward to. I’ve been looking forward to HRT, so I’m trying to stay positive and hopeful that this will actually help. I was amazed to look back through my medical records and see the YEARS of telling doctors about hot flashes, mood swings, brain fog, malaise, etc. And YEARS of these medical professionals telling me basically to ‘rub some dirt on it’ and tough it out. My husband’s doctor practically threw Viagra at him. My husband didn’t even ASK and he got a prescription, just in case. Because getting older might make a man feel stressed? Sad? Bleak? I’ve been begging for some help and it’s like I’m judged by the quality of my begging. But if the begging is too good then I’m hysterical. We can’t win. 

Days 6-7 

Work and life has been crazy so I’ve neglected my logging. Although if there was something amazing to report, I probably would have been compelled to write it down. 

No noticeable changes yet. I did manage to get up and go running one day, so maybe that means there’s something happening? I’ve been trying to start exercising again and I have had NO drive, so maybe one day of being able to muster the physical and mental energy to go running means that there’s a shift? (To be fair, I hate running so I might not be able to blame my lack of exercise inspiration on menopause.)

To sum it up–the first week of Duavee saw no significant changes. 

Sleep: No better evidenced by the fact that I’m writing this at 2:19 am.

Hot flashes: Maybe a little better during the day? I’m trying to be positive but I still dress in layers so I can add and subtract as I get hot and then cold and then hot again.

Night sweats: Still 2-3 times a night. 

Mood: No real improvement (just ask my husband).

Brain fog: No improvement as evidenced by the fact that I woke up at 1am remembering something that I forgot to do at work today.

Keeping the faith for week 2…